Forgive me for using the rather tired pun, but I’m afraid that this blog will be full of things you have heard before. I’m sure that my readers in the UK will be aware that today, the 18th of January 2013, snow fell NATIONWIDE! No doubt they will also be aware of the almighty excitable mess the country has become in the wake of the dazzly white stuff.
On getting up this morning I was greeted by listeners of BBC London phoning in to tell Vanessa Feltz that the snow in Shoreditch ‘is over an inch and the traffic is MENTAL!’ and Covent Garden ‘Is really really cold’. Three hours of airtime were devoted to faffing about over something that happens every year and shouldn’t cause nearly as much trouble as people allow it to. Vanessa insisted that everyone should stay indoors and curl up with a mug of hot chocolate before they collect their kids from school at least three hours early. It’s like we have nothing better to do! Dad and I had booked some rehearsal time today in the hall in Blackheath, and we were thwarted by the idiot drivers of Surrey who, on arriving at work, decided that it was too snowy to stay and promptly crashed into each other around Dorking, Epsom and Leatherhead while racing home to do Vanessa Feltz’s bidding.
I was pleased to hear a caller from Poland on Feltz’s show. His point was very much along the lines of Alliser Thorne’s ‘You don’t know cold!’ speech from Game of Thrones Season 1. It is not uncommon for the temperature to drop to -20C in certain cities in Poland, add some wind chill and you have a bitter winter compared to our rather balmy season that is troubled by no more than a Christmas card-worthy smattering of snow.
What is the solution to this needless faffing about something that happens every damn year, I hear you cry. Well dear readers, I think it’s time to compare a week of snow to that oft-cited period of national cooperation that was the Blitz. What did people do when it was raining death? Did they stay at home with the kids to watch television and drink cocoa? Not likely, Vanessa! Did they skive off work to play in the bomb craters? Not even for a Weight Watchers dinner, Vanessa! If they weren’t dead, they just carried on with their business. It’s ironic that ‘Keep calm and carry on’ and all of its lame variations are plastered on everything from phone covers to aprons, and despite emblazoning themselves with every iteration of ‘Keep calm and…’, no one is stoic enough to just go to work without going mad about the crazy white stuff falling from the sky, like rain, but colder, but not hail, more floaty.
It’s snow. Get over it.
That’s the rant over, time for some housekeeping.
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